I'm sick (yet again)

So, I'm sick again.
I thought my immune system was strong enough to fight off another cold, but I guess I was betrayed by my body. I still have to work today too. UUUUGHHH!
I was going to make a video blog but the truth is, I've lost my voice this time and I have yet to master the art of sign language.
Hopefully I'll have a video up by christmas.

Happy Holidays everyone. =)

Thanksgiving was Yesteday

So this is my review for 2009's thanksgiving.
I finally got my fill of turkey as soon as I got off work.

I hope everyone had a thankful thanksgiving. =)

Starbucks for free? NO WAY!

Sorry I've been gone for a while.
But I've decided to make a comeback!
YAY!
Anyways, here's my new video blog.
It's basically what happened on Sunday that I didn't have time to post until now.
WOO!

Library thoughts

So, I'm sitting in the very comfortable and cozy Fresno State Henry Madden library with the essential Starbucks signature hot chocolate and a very cheesy danish and listening to my guilty pleasures playlist and bopping to Taylor Swift.

I should be doing my homework but I was stupid this morning and forgot my books at home.

Wonderful.

So now I must kill time before my sociology class at 10.

And who coulda thunk of a better way to use my time than post on my recently dormant blog?

My music switches over to the Jonas Brothers singing about slipping into some sort of lava as I begin to apologize for not posting very often.

I could get on my knees and grovel for forgiveness tossing the rest of my danish your way as a sort of sacrifice. I could call on the all-powerful Poseidon to send a great tidal wave to make you forget that I haven't posted very many entries. (I've been watching clash of the gods on the History Channel. that show kicks ass.) I could make up an excuse about how I was trapped in a district where there were thousands of aliens called Prawns that were people just like us but were treated terribly by humans.

But seeing as I just finished my danish, Poseidon hasn't been returning my phone calls, and the Prawns have become my friends, I've run out of excuses.

I'll try to make more posts. School and work have just been kicking my butt lately and I dropped my giant ear cleaner thing to fight them back.

I'll get back on my feet. I promise. =)

Where have you been jessica?

Well, I've been compiling videos of stuff that I've done since school started, and was about to slam it all together when something terrible happened...!!!

I got an evil cold.
Well, I'm pretty disappointed. I'm sure I got it at work because I do work at a drugstore, where people go to buy medicine to fix their illnesses.
Who woulda thunk it?
Anywhos.
I just woke up about half an hour ago, after getting sent home from work by my awesome crew that could tell that I was falling apart as a cashier today.



Yes, I know I look terrible.
Real blog coming soon and a reply to Mr. Nowhere in Particular's lovely award he has bestowed upon me, as soon as I can battle this evil thing and sound normal.

Pokemon, Zombies, Back to School, and Nowhere in Particular

So the school days are drawing near and I'm pumped.
I'm so excited. I want a 4.0 this semester.
I goofed off a lot last semester so this semester will have to make up for it.



Oh and on Mr. Nowhere in Particular's blog, he was wondering why my blog was called, "anything but windchimes".
Well...
my next door neighbor has like a million windchimes on their property but they're near my window.
It was a very windy night and I was trying to get some sleep because I worked in the morning.
But it was constant, annoying, jingly, windchimes all night.
So, in short.
I really don't like windchimes.
No offense to all those windchimes lovers.

Nowhere in Particular is here, go there for coolness.

Just because I'm silly.

So, a little girl decided to tell me how much she loved the Jonas Brothers while I rang up her mother's purchase.

This is the story. You could either read the text or just watch me be a dork.
Your choice. =) Haha.



Just me being silly.
Yeah, I'm too old to be a Jonas Brothers fangirl.
But I can always pretend.

Speedlanes and ABBA

I just thought of this while driving a verrry long drive home from the bay area.
It was made longer because I was constantly stuck behind people who insisted on driving in the speed lane even though they were only doing the speed limit or less.
I just find it frustrating so this is my revenge!



OH and I'm going to finally learn how to drive stick shift!!
I'm sure you're thinking,
"OH MY HEAVENS SHE DOESN'T KNOW HOW TO DRIVE STICK SHIFT????"
nope.. but I shall learn and video it. =)

Adventures in Six Flags Discovery Kingdom

My boyfriend and I decided to go on an animal adventure and go hug all the animals at the park.
I didn't really get to hug any of the animals... but I did get to stare at their amazingness.

And here's my amazing day. =)
Watch it, I PROMISE it's edited and not boring.


It was a pretty fun trip. I went on all the roller coasters too but they wouldn't allow anyone to take stuff on the ride.
You can just imagine the funnnesss of the coasters.
It was really fun I even made a new friend, Shouka!

Oh and I realized I made my 50th post about 4 posts ago... so happy 50th post for me. =)

So life is going ok

Hola.
So I really like making videos, I'll probably make a video of my amazzzing sixflags voyage which will be taking place in a couple of days, right now.. i've been swamped with work which is cool because I do need a way to pay for books next semester.

I was going to make another video blog but I feel kinda icky because I just got off work and I'm a little sweaty in the sort of way that would stick you to the fake leather interior of a jet black sedan.

I'm sure you needed to know that.

My day went by pretty intensely.

An elderly man decided to raise his voice to me because an item he believed to be buy one get one free turned out to be full price.

"Um sir. Where did you see the sign that says 'Buy one get one free'?" I ask in the politest way I could manage.

"It was right next to the vitamins!" He shouted, the fire's in his eyes and the words are really clear.

"I'm sorry sir, but that sign goes to a different product..." I pointed to the item which was a laxative, "Is this the item you would like?"

By this time there was a lot of customers waiting in line, I called for a second checker but I really wanted to say, "This is my message to you, the customers are linin' up, we're bringin' brighter days. They're all in line, waitin' for you. Can't you see?"

But I didn't, instead I just smiled as he began his tirade of how I should honor the sign even though it was clearly not for his product and I should be ashamed for offering him a laxative.

I apologized and smiled and rang the other items and bid him "Have an amazing day!"
I tell myself,
Don't try to fight it,
There ain't nothin' you can do,
Relax your mind, lay back and groove

So tonight, gotta leave that nine to five upon the shelf
and just enjoy yourself

Toodles. =)

OH THE CRAZINESS

So I decided to speak out my blog with a video of what i would have written had i written it down rather than have actually spoken it...
If you guys don't find my video style of blog fun... then i'll go back to the old school way of my blog and get out a chisel and slab of granite.

I actually have a slab of granite from yosemite. So... all i need is a chisel.

eh... can i borrow your chisel?




Oh and apparently someone fell off half dome like 3 days after my attempt to get up there...
I guess it was a smart idea to turn around.
Here's the story.

My Journey

So, I'm finally done editing my footage of my trip to (almost) half dome.

It started raining... and all the experienced hikers were turning around telling us that when a big granite rock gets wet it's really unsafe trying to hike down it because it gets really slippery.

I really wanted to keep going... but I really didn't want to die.

So here's my amazing trip. =)

I've been preparing

Sorry for the abscence but i've been preparing to rip through half dome.
Yep.
Going to yosemite and going to reach the top of half dome if its the last thing i do.

I will DEFINITELY be youtubing this. toodles for now.

Youtube and Brownies

So, I'm on youtube. Of course I've been on that site for a million years but I've never submitted a singing video.
This is a video of me being the dorky girl I am karaokeing to a camera.

Oh and at my store where I work, I'm trying desperately to sell brownies and tea, because I get a 5 cent commission on them, and if I sell at least 12 brownies and tea in one day, each day I work at my store in a week (4 days) I will have gained $2.40. I get paid biweekly so then I'll get almost an extra $5 on my paycheck.
That doesn't sound like that much money.... and it isn't ..... But I'm just trying to make a living.
So buy my brownies.
I give away free high fives for every brownie I sell.
the end.

Finals

Finals aren't fun, as usual.

You'd think I'd have realized it by now.

Chemistry kinda sucks. Biology kinda sucks.
Biochemistry is going to suck.

I pretty much hate chemistry but for some reason, I've taken two semesters of it already and am going to take Organic Chemistry next semester even with how much I loathe it.

I want to be a pharmacist but there's a lot of chemistry walls I have to walk through and I'm not too good at being a ghost.

I was talking to one of the pharmacists at the store I work at and he said that he hates chemistry with a passion.

I guess it's possible even with an uncontrollable rage against chemistry.
I'm sort of like the incredible hulk, you know?
Like chemistry is the thing that makes me angry.

I dunno.

wish me luck on my finals.

My weekend

Skullcrusher Mountain - Jonathon Coulton
This song has to be the most romantic song ever. It doesn't autostart, so random music doesn't freak you out while you're surfing my page. Don't tell me I'm the only one that finds that annoying.
If you listen to it while you read my post, it'll give the perfect mood.

So my weekend was pretty intense.
My boyfriend and I went to the mall and had an adventure. I've decided to split the adventure into two different parts in this post... and here it goes.



Part I: The Transvestite


So we're wandering around the mall, when suddenly Tony stops walking.


I stop too, confused, and wonder what he's probably stepped in that has caused his feet to stick to the shiny white floor.


"That..that's a guy." He says in almost a half whisper.


"Huh...?"


He points with his eyes in the direction of a lanky looking girl with ash gray hair that waterfalled down her back.


It looked like a girl. But apparently... looks are deceiving.


And that's why I decided, I must confirm that this indeed is a transvestite.


I have nothing against transvestites. In fact, I have a favorite transvestite, Eddie Izzard. Everyone needs a favorite transvestite.



Anywho, I was on the hunt. Shopping bags in hand, we were moving quickly in the direction of the girl. Her purple knee highs leading the way, we followed the strangely dressed girl. But we followed sneakily. We were being very inconspicuous, trying to not get distracted by the many stores. Sanrio was calling my name but I turned away from the bright-pink-hello-kitty filled store; I had a mission.



Then suddenly. She stopped. She stopped and turned.



We stopped and pretended to be enthralled by the shininess of the escalator and held our breaths.



She turned and looked at the display of flatware in the shop window. And that's when I saw it.

The 5 o' clock shadow.



MISSION STATEMENT:
Verify and locate transvestite in the viscinity of the valleyfair mall.

COMPLETE





Part II: In Hiding



Hot topic isn't usually my scene, but that's the only place I can buy band tshirts that I like when I'm not at a concert.

And the clearance rack in any store is awesome.



So there I am, shuffling through the XXL's and XXXL's when I find a lonely medium.

Oh snap.

And it's a Death Cab for Cutie shirt? OH MY HEAVENS. I've hit the jack pot.



I quickly grab the hanger with the light blue shirt dangling along. I then here a voice behind me.



"Eh hem. Excuse me?" It's a girl talking to one of the guys who works there, he replies with a very bright attitude that was very much the opposite of the decor of the store.

"Do you have any death cab for cutie tshirts?"



I gasp and turn the logo to face me and, to hid it.



"No... I don't think we have any new one's in, they'd probably be on the clearance rack."



I slowly inch away from the clearance rack as the girl and hot topic guy start digging through the discontinued lime green skirts and plaid skinny jeans. The tshirt was pressed against my stomach, in the way a mother would hold her baby if someone were trying to steal it from her.



MISSION STATEMENT:

Obtaining awesome band tshirt whilst others were searching for said tshirt.

COMPLETE

The end.

Oh, and you probably realized that the song you listened to has nothing to do with this post... but it was funny though, right?

The difference

While closing up the store tonight at work, a coworker, KC, found a flipped open copy of Cosmopolitan Magazine.
I shook my head and warned the little senior in high school not to read it, but he ignored my guidance.

The cover of the magazine depicted an article that was a list of things one should do while completely in the nude.
After skimming through the list he found some interesting suggestions, like playing wii.
Another was to write a note to your significant other while naked because it'll be a little secret that he may never know and you'll feel empowered and more confidant.

Then both KC and I realized that if a girl told a guy over a note or text or email that she was naked that it'd be a normal and slightly sexy thing to do, however, if a guy did the same to a girl, disgusted screaming would probably ensue.

I don't know about any other girls out there but if i were texted by any guy with a message saying, "HEY, I'm not wearing any underwear" I'd be pretty freaked out.

Soyjoy, Gogirl, and Polyphonic Spree

So it's monday.
I began my day with a healthy dose of Soyjoy bar and a tasty Gogirl energy drink, I know, I'm so darn healthy, right?
I think my favorite energy drink has to be Gogirl. They don't sell them at my drugstore so I'm stuck outsourcing for the extremely pink beverage. Seriously, the liquid is pink. Like hot pink. It's AWESOME.
Anywho's,
We're watching Borat in my Drama 62 class. Pretty weird. I guess it's better than having to listen to lecture.
That film has got some seriously weird scenes. I watched it in the theaters when I was in high school, but its weird watching it again. I didn't think I'd ever have to see a very furry man in a strangely cut yellow bathing suit again.
So I'm at home now, relaxing before my chemistry lab I have later today at 6.
I really don't feel like going.
We had our lab practical/exam thing last week.
If you've never taken Chem 1B at CSUF the practical is basically.. well, you're given an unknown solution and you have to run tests to tell what types of ions are present in it.
I found out that I had cobalt and silver ions. Woo.
It's pretty stressful. I was so lucky.
Before my lab, I've decided to lift my spirits with some happy, choral, polyphonic spree.
And here's a video where scrubs, one of my favoorrite tv shows, and polyphonic spree combine.
Oh the amazingness.

Things that are amazing.

I've been kinda silent for a while now.
So I've decided to fill this post with silly pictures to make up for the silence. =)

My easter was pretty fun.
I've discovered many things in my abscence.

I found that...

I'm really bad at chess.
My boyfriend, Tony, and I played gigantor chess at Santana Row in Santa Clara.
We even had a little audience, which made my losing even more pitiful.


But we got Pinkberry to make up for it.
Yummy. Frozen yogurt is going to take over the world, apparently.

I also found the Soyjoy bar. They're better for you than candy bars and they're sweet and granola baresque.

I also discovered different Domos. I didn't know there were any other ones than my normal Domo. Tony bought me the bunny eared one to go with my chick one. Yes. Yes, I do own stuffed animals... I guess this makes me an even bigger dork.

Oh and I rediscovered a childhood favorite of mine.

Fruit Stripe Gum! You know, the ones with the tattoos?
The tattoos are just as crappy as they were when I was a little kid. YAY! NOSTALGIA!


And finally,
the most amazing discovery.
INSECTOSAURUS.

This has to be the cutest monster ever. EVER. I know.... it's ugly, but SO CUTE.
I need an insectosaurus plushie so bad to go with my domos.
Yes, I'm a super nerd.

I guess that's the end of my discoveries.
Toodles for now.

19 things.

So I was surfing the internet and I found something awesome.
It's a little game where you try to think of words that describe you. You have to think of at least as many words as years you're old.
I think it's harder as you get older... 19 words is a lot. I've been working a while on this and I finally got 19.

1. Short.
2. Happy.
3. Cheesy.
4. Espresso.
5. Small.
6. Silly.
7. Loved.
8. Nerd.
9. Filipino.
10. White-washed.
11. Monster (as in the energy drink)
12. Monster (as in the creature I wake up as in the morning)
13. Pikachu.
14. Histrionic.
15. Giddy.
16. Expressive.
17. Stressed.
18. Lively.
19. Cookie-scented.

You should try it. It makes you think. But it's fun.

The worst St. Patrick's Day Ever

How, I ask myself, How am I typing through these tears and not short circuiting my keyboard with salt water?
I don't know.
I must be magic.

I got a ticket. Not for something cool like robbing a bank or graffitiing the elderly, instead it was because... because... well here is my story.

It's st. patrick day and people get drunk and drive because they're stupid so that is why there has to be check points to help protect good little citizens like me and you.

Or so I thought...

I forgot my wallet on my way to work and had to drive through a check point on my way home, I have never driven through a check point before and got freaked so i decided to pull into a parking lot and maybe call someone to bring my wallet.
This is sounding more and more stupid as I type this.
You probably think I'm a dork.

An officer comes plummeting through the crisp evening air wondering why is that I have pulled over.

Oh how I've screwed myself.

The officer pulled up to my car and I opened my door to explain but he quickly told me to restrain myself because I could be an evil doer who does evil things after opening car doors. I was freaked out. Scared. And the lights were blaring.
I'm a good girl.
I don't drink.
I don't party.
I don't steal things.
I'm just one of those reeeeally uncool people who doesn't do anything but stay at home and knit socks for my dogs.

After figuring out that the bag I was carrying contained only my laptop and a pack of gum did he begin to realize how freaked out i was.
Or perhaps it was the tears that starting pouring from my face like two miniature super soakers being played with by two 7 year old boys on sugar highs.

After a few minutes of looking over my car and jotting stuff down from my registration did he ask for my signature and thumbprint. I got a ticket for driving without my license and for pulling over instead of driving through the check point. He tried to calm me down by telling me it's not that big of a deal and that he's gotten traffic tickets before. He seemed like a nice person now that I think about it, but right then and there, it felt like he was God telling me that I can't go to heaven now and must burn in hell, forever cursed to wear my work uniform and eat splenda.

I called my dad after getting the ticket and the officer waited next to my car to make sure I was okay. I was crying too much to explain to my dad why I just got a citation so the officer asked if I wanted him to explain it to my dad.

I could hear my dad laughing on the other end when he realized he was talking to a police officer.
I think the officer thought my dad was going to kill me. But instead he was laughing.
After choking down my tears and assuring the officer I was okay and wasn't going to go commit suicide because of this infraction did I drive home.

So now I'm home with my yellow piece of paper awaiting the letter containing the fine that I must pay and signing up for the traffic school that I must go to.

Oh st. patrick, what a day.

How things kill you.

So today in chemistry we had a sub.
My usual chemistry teacher enjoys mixing chemicals together in demos in the class.
On Wednesday he mixed an entire bottle of calcium carbonate with hydrochloric acid.
Which equals loads and loads of bubbles.
Preeetty intense actually.
But the sub today enjoys... well, telling us how chemicals can kill us.
So I learned how exactly you die from eating or drinking cyanide.
And that is what I will share with you.

Well, our blood contains hemoglobin. Hemoglobin contains iron as it transports oxygen through your blood stream.
When you ingest cyanide, the iron in the hemoglobin bonds much more easily to the cyanide than to the oxygen, leaving the cells in your body without oxygen, killing you in a matter of minutes.

Great stuff right?
Don't eat cyanide.

Chicken

In my Drama 62 class we're analyzing lighting and colors in film.
So we're watching Gothika. You know... with Halle Berry and Robert Downey Jr. ? You know the movie.

I'm not tooooo big of a fan of scary movies. I'm actually a wimp when it comes to horror.
I saw the movie Shutter and didn't see 75% of the film because I was closing my eyes and had my face in my sister's shoulder.

Heck, I got freaked out reading the duel between Harry Potter and Voldermort in book 4.

Gothika seems pretty scary. My class has only seen the first 50 minutes and I've already sprouted my wings and feathers and singing the Robot Chicken ending theme.

I guess I'm a chicken. A chicken and proud.
I should start a club.

Wondercon 2009

So guess where I was this weekend.

Give up?

Wondercon 2009 in San Francisco.





Am I a nerd? Yes, yes I am.

Just a little side note... this post may be very long because there's just so much to say. From the awesome first 22 minutes of the Watchmen movie, to the awkwardness of Elijah Wood answering his millionth question about Lord of the Rings while he's trying to promote the movie 9, to the screamtastic McG showing not exactly finished scenes from the upcoming movie Terminator Salvation.

Oh the intensity!


Follow me in my glorious memories..

Poor Poor Elijah

Elijah Wood and the animation director of the movie, Joe Ksander, were at the panel answering questions about the movie, 9. It looks pretty good. I saw the trailer while watching the movie Coraline a few weeks ago and it looks pretty awesome.

The movie is based on this short film by Shane Acker.

While the panel was pretty informative with a short scene from the movie with a crazy metal bird attacking the little rag dolls, during the Q&A Elijah Wood was pummeled with stupid questions about lord of the rings. Like.. "How would you compare your role in this movie to that of Frodo in Lord of the Rings?" or "Do you know anything about the Hobbit?"

Up!

The new Disney Pixar film Up had a panel at Wondercon as well. The movie is basically about an old man so sick of the world around him that he sets up thousands of balloons on his house to just carry him away. But his plan goes amuck when the local (and silly)wilderness explorer tags along on the old man's journey.

To say the least... it looks like Pixar has made yet another amazing family film.

The Watchmen Panel

My boyfriend, Tony, and I entered a very crowded auditorium that was already over half way full, we found a seat nearer to the back but we could still see everything.

They talked for a little while about critics asking for less violence and less blue nudity and then we cheered for a clip, which we thought would be short but turned out to be over 20 minutes long!
Whenever the picture drew to black, I gasped thinking it was going to end but was pleasantly surprised it was still going. No one was complaining. It was pretty great. The opening credits were a bit long but very entertaining and very good at giving exposition to the story. The Q&A was pretty funny. There was a guy dressed as batman that asked out the costuming. Everything was pretty entertaining.

Terminator Salvation
Heavens to betsy, this one was craaazy. The director McG was shouting profanities everywhere and asking the (primarily male) audience if they would like to see Moon Bloodgood's breasts in the movie. I, being one of the few girls in the audience, shouted "ewwww" but was over run by the male applause. This film is starring Christian Bale but he was not present during the panel, but McG instead called his cell phone and left a voice mail. Which was pretty funny.
We watched a few clips from the film and they seemed pretty actiony. I've seen the first two Terminator movies this one seems like an intense follow up. There were no special effects in the clips show seeing as the film is still in post production. I kinda liked see the computeriness of the monsters though. It made things feel pretty exclusive.

And Me?

I knit a hat to wear to Wondercon. Yes. I knit. I promise I'm not an old lady. I just know how to knit. I can knit pretty darn good, I might add. No one recognized it though... It's from the comic book Runaways and it's the hat Molly Hayes wore throughout the entire first volume. Oh wow. I am a nerd. Tony's friends noticed it after much prodding though.

Then of course I had to get myself some Pikachu ears.

And I finally bought myself a my very own

Domo. Very cute. He's hanging out with my little lucky bamboo. Oh and I was one of the hundreds of girls that this dude from Attack of the Show hit on. Attack of the Show is a show on G4, which is a gamer's network if you didn't know. And I got a TON of FREE stuff. Now that's like the platinum frosting on the cupcake.

Wow. My nerdiness just keeps growing as this blog goes on doesn't it?
All in all, it was a fun day.

American Idol: CONSPIRACY

I haven't watched American Idol since that gray-haired guy beat out that chick. BUT today. Well, tonight, I finally watched an episode.

And I've seen something of a look-a-like conspiracy.


Let's start with 23 year old finalist Mr. Kris Allen.

He has this UNCANNY resemblance to Adamo Ruggiero, Marco Del Rossi from Degrassi: the Next Generation.

I watched tonight and was gasping, "OH MY GOSH! MARCO! Whatcha doing on American Idol?"













Next...

Allison Iraheta and Kelly Clarkson; poof and all.













Okay maybe that's a stretch but the next one is dead on.

3rdly... and most closely resembling...

Adam Lambert and Joe Jonas.

Now that is like whoa...

They have the same hair, eye brows, simple expression, faux bad boy attitude that has the preteen girls squealing.

They maybe 10 years apart, age wise, but they look darn close.


And lastly just for fun.

Kai Kalama and Doc Brown.

If you don't know who Doc Brown is.... Then I am VERY sad.

Pillow Pants

So I've been surfing the internet and found some interesting things.

Let's discuss the pillow.

The fluffy thing you sleep with at night that rests gently beneath your head.

Filled with feathers or cotton or mooshy stuff, it's ever so comforting.

Now I've seen such things as a pillow shaped like a hamburger or a monster or winnie the pooh. I've even seen one with a picture of the devil herself printed across it (Hannah Montana), but as I've surfed tonight I don't think I could look at a pillow the same way again.

Exhibit A: The Hug Me Pillow

For the EVER SO LOW PRICE of $29.99, you could own this creepy pillow with an amputated arm attached, so you can wrap yourself in an imaginary person's arms.

I guess if you're lonely, it could help you out... but, there are ways to help with loneliness, without buying a one armed pillow, such as: joining a club, talking with your neighbor, talking with your co worker, talking to someone, talking to anything, therapy, prozac, family reunions, an actual person hugging you, kittens, anything but a dismembered arm...etc..

Exhibit B: OH MY GOD. oh wait... they're sleeping.

I don't even know what to say about this one. It's kinda funny, in a creepy way.

and finally...

Exhibit C: Dakimakura

Dakimakura or... "hugging pillow" is a japanese pillow that has a picture of your favorite scantily clad anime character printed across it. And it's life size. These will definitely cure.. uh. something.

I guess this is for the very lonely and fairly wealthy, you could buy these for about a $100. I guess that's cheaper than some girlfriends.

NAH NAH NAH nah nuh nah nahhh...

So valentine's day was yesterday. woo.
But today is homework day. I have tests this week and if a don't study... well I'll fall apart like a house of cards made of cheez-its in a room filled with crazed obese cheese addicts.

V-day was awesome and romantic. I wish it could've lasted longer. Darn that whole earth moving around the sun thing.

President's day is here soon. I've already got my Abe Lincoln costume and am ready to knock on doors saying trick or treat.

Why don't we have some sort of celebration for president's day?
I guess the way we celebrate is by furniture sales and not showing up for work and school and stuff.
I really don't think we sell "Happy Presidents' Day" cards at work. We're still over run with Valentine's day stuff.

I guess I could go down the aisles of the store with a magic marker and cross out Valentine's and putting "President's" on it. I think I might get fired for that though.

Oh well, I will figure a way to celebrate our old timey presidents..
Just wait for it with anticipation...

PRESIDENTS' DAY 2010

I'll shock the world. Tell your friends.

Um. Actually. I might end up just falling back to the magic marker thing...

Honey Honey

So, one of my mom's friends gave her the Mammia Mia Soundtrack.

OH SNAP MY PRAYERS HAVE BEEN ANSWERED! YAY!

Right?

I'm a sucker for swedish-disco-europop and glittery outfits.

Yeah. I'm a dork but a dork singing Abba. Does that make it worse?
No matter!


For your listening pleasure...
Honey, Honey - As sung by Amanda Seyfried

Highway to heck

So I just got home moments ago.
Yeah. It's passed midnight. I'm such a rebel from the wrong side of the tracks that wears a bandana and steals candy from babies.

Anywho. I was actually driving home from the bay area which is about 2 and a half hours away. My beau lives up there so, I need to make due with the distance by driving really fast.
I spent saturday and most of sunday and the rest of the time driving.

So I was driving by myself, meaning, I could sing car songs the WHOLE WAY THERE. Now isn't that awesome? And as LOUD as I want. If you're ever driving and hear someone screaming Abba songs out their windows you'll know who it is.

Now the best part is this long section of twisty turny road called Pacheco Pass.
It's amazing taking the road at about 75 mph and not breaking or hitting the gas. It's like my own little roller coaster that I'm controlling.

Soo intense. And when you combine the adrenaline rush of driving with the caffeine rush of a monster energy drink it's even more intense. I just have a reeeal thirst for danger.

Well now I'm home and webchatting with my beau again, and watching as he cheats on me by making out with an invisible me sitting next to him.

A weekend never seems long enough.

Back to school

So, I'm back in school and with my checking account $350 lighter I feel very in tune with this semester.

From the chemistry lab manual to the biology lab manual to the smell of the $170 dollar biology hard back to the $7 dollar play script I'm pretty glad I have a grant, a loan, and a job.


I'd be screeewwwed without all three.
I got a grant because I can't pay for school on my own, but it doesn't completely cover the expenses, so I get a loan to help pay for loose ends, like books, parking permits, supplies...etc.
Then I have a job to help pay back my loan in the future. and GUESS WHAT, I have to do this whole thing over again next year. WOO.

I'm just so cool, right?

I hate this whole "money" thing.

Let's go back to the way it used to be and I'll pay for my education with a cow, 2 chickens, and a rock that's shaped like a muffin.
Now that'd be the life.

"Sanitize your hands please."

Blog note: Sorry for all the posts about work. I haven't started school yet so I haven't had anything else more interesting happening to me.

"Excuse me?"

"Yes?" I reply, I just finished restocking tins of cashews and got up hearing the sound of a customer.

"Do you have hand sanitizer?" a short, freckle faced woman snorted with a few items in her hands.

"Oh, yeah, it's down aisle 3, all the way at the end, we also--"

"No." she cut me off like I was an idiot babbling on about how the sky ought to be peach scented.

"Do you have sanitizer for yourself?"

"What?"

"You've been handling money and things all day. Your hands must be covered in germs. Please sanitize your hands before you ring up my things."

Now, I've never had this happen before. I believe I am a pretty clean person. I carry hand sanitizer around in my purse, I wash my hands for a full minute after relieving myself, and I have been known for having the compulsive urge to buy lemongrass scented shampoo. And damn it, I sanitize my hands very often with GermX when I'm at work.

As I fought the urge to shove my germ infested fingers into her nose, I pump some of the heavy rubbing alcohol scented liquid into my hands and tell the woman I'm ready to ring up her things.

She looks at me like I had just put my hands in a toilet bowl to get them wet, and replies,

"Can't I just ring them up myself?"

"No. I don't think--"

She ignores my comment and does so anyway. I try to stop her but she wraps her arm around the cash register to the little box that scans things. She ends up buying only one item because that's the only one I'd allow her to scan.

I open a plastic bag for her to drop her thing into and she ignores it and grabs her own. She refuses the receipt because I touched it and put my deadly disease ridden instruments (my hands) on it and leaves the store.

For a second I think, OH MY GOD, what's wrong with me?
Do I have a disease?
Did one of my body parts fall off without me knowing it?
or
Do I just smell bad?

I roll my eyes and sniff the air and smell the sweet scent of lemongrass and think, despite it all,

"Damn, I smell good today."

Laughing with Tea

My manager comes up to me as I stand behind the cash register,

"You know what's awesome?"

"Ummm... Arizona Tea?"

The store is kinda empty because it's almost closing. He tells me, "No wayyy!" as I try to think of what could possibly be more awesome than a 23 oz. can of peach flavored tea for 99 cents.

He shows me two packages of pretzels, ones covered in white chocolate and the other in normal chocolate. He holds them out to me like it's the holy grail of snack food. I look down at the arc of the covenant in his hands and give my best Keanu Reeves expression when offered the red or blue pill.

"Take one of both!"

I shrug my shoulders and grab a pair of the chocolatey pretzels and eat them like a very curious lion would if he didn't eat flesh but only pretzels.

"Good?" He asks me as my mouth is filled with pretzel.

I nod like a bobble head doll and mumble "thank you" with the remnants of crunchiness in my mouth.

It then occurs to me that there are people who've shown up in line to check out at my register, I, of course, not an all star chewer, begin to mumble my words to the customers who then begin to giggle at me.

"Hafff a nif evenningff!" I burble, at last, as I swallow that chunk of pretzal down my throat.

As the customers finally leave I realize that that really was an awesome combination, you really should try it. But preferably alone where no one can interupt the goodness with the wish to purchase a copy of Cosmogirl magazine or GasX.

13 reasons whyyy...

Holy crap.
Watch this short little clip. Don't worry it's short.
It's not like I'm going to make you watch a 10 minute clip of my dog drooling like some bloggers do.
This will blow your mind.





Are you freaked out? Wasn't that intense?
45% of you are probably thinking, "Wow, Jessica, that's what you think is intense? You're BORING."
And 30% of you are probably thinking, "WTF?"
and 24% (this is the group that I'm in) probably think, "HOLY SHIZ!! This is craazzzy. What is this? I must know more."
And then there's probably .75% of you that decided not to watch the video
and the .25% of you who don't know how to hit the play button.
Now that I've thoroughly read your minds, I'll tell you what this is.
It's an advertisement!
Weird right?

It's for the book, 13 Reasons Why by Jay Asher. Which is basically about a guy who receives cassette tapes in the mail that are from a girl who committed suicide 2 weeks before, explaining the reasons why she committed suicide and the people she sent the tapes to are part of the reasons why she killed herself. But the thing is, the guy who received the tapes in the mail was actually in love with Hannah Baker and wanted to help her. So how did he contribute to her death?

CREEPY STUFF. I read it.
I had a coupon for 40% off a book at Borders so I bought it.
I kinda felt silly buying a book from the teen fiction section but I got it any way.
So what I thought of the book? It was very sad but it had an optimistic ending. I read it in 3 days. I guess the reason why was because it was a very captivating book and it was all written teen fictiony so I could get through it pretty quickly.

The book's idea was pretty intriguing. I enjoyed it.

The only thing I don't agree with is the cover art. The girl in the image is wearing high heels on a swing.

WHAT? Who does that?

Adventures in Retail

So, this is my day.

I was a happy go lucky drugstore cashier, drinking my Monster energy drink, so my happy go luckiness was drug induced but none of the customers needed to know that.

Anywho

This very snobby woman comes up to my register holding a very opened package of very squished cotton balls, she having a very unhappy look on her very stretched out ugly face.

"I'd like to return these."

"Was there something wrong?" I asked, caffeine coursing through my veins.

"Yes, these didn't work--"

I cut her off then, because I knew we'd have to throw them away anyway because she put her stretched out face all on them, and it's not like I could have fixed the cotton balls, and of course the main one, I DON'T CARE.

She looked at me expectantly, like I should ask her about her entire experience with the generic brand cotton balls. Were they just not soft enough? Were they just too scratchy? Were they not worth the 59 cents you paid for them?

I called for my manager and listened to the lady's story under my monster powered eaves dropping skills. She painted a picture of trying to use the ever so unuseful cotten balls to absorb water and how they would just fall to pieces at the very thought of water coming in contact with the fluffy white orbs.

I think she was trying to use the cotton balls to plug a small dam or build a giant cotton ball man, a super hero to fight acne and nail polish remover accidents.

I guess cotton balls are of the devil.