Tuesday, March 17, 2009

The worst St. Patrick's Day Ever

How, I ask myself, How am I typing through these tears and not short circuiting my keyboard with salt water?
I don't know.
I must be magic.

I got a ticket. Not for something cool like robbing a bank or graffitiing the elderly, instead it was because... because... well here is my story.

It's st. patrick day and people get drunk and drive because they're stupid so that is why there has to be check points to help protect good little citizens like me and you.

Or so I thought...

I forgot my wallet on my way to work and had to drive through a check point on my way home, I have never driven through a check point before and got freaked so i decided to pull into a parking lot and maybe call someone to bring my wallet.
This is sounding more and more stupid as I type this.
You probably think I'm a dork.

An officer comes plummeting through the crisp evening air wondering why is that I have pulled over.

Oh how I've screwed myself.

The officer pulled up to my car and I opened my door to explain but he quickly told me to restrain myself because I could be an evil doer who does evil things after opening car doors. I was freaked out. Scared. And the lights were blaring.
I'm a good girl.
I don't drink.
I don't party.
I don't steal things.
I'm just one of those reeeeally uncool people who doesn't do anything but stay at home and knit socks for my dogs.

After figuring out that the bag I was carrying contained only my laptop and a pack of gum did he begin to realize how freaked out i was.
Or perhaps it was the tears that starting pouring from my face like two miniature super soakers being played with by two 7 year old boys on sugar highs.

After a few minutes of looking over my car and jotting stuff down from my registration did he ask for my signature and thumbprint. I got a ticket for driving without my license and for pulling over instead of driving through the check point. He tried to calm me down by telling me it's not that big of a deal and that he's gotten traffic tickets before. He seemed like a nice person now that I think about it, but right then and there, it felt like he was God telling me that I can't go to heaven now and must burn in hell, forever cursed to wear my work uniform and eat splenda.

I called my dad after getting the ticket and the officer waited next to my car to make sure I was okay. I was crying too much to explain to my dad why I just got a citation so the officer asked if I wanted him to explain it to my dad.

I could hear my dad laughing on the other end when he realized he was talking to a police officer.
I think the officer thought my dad was going to kill me. But instead he was laughing.
After choking down my tears and assuring the officer I was okay and wasn't going to go commit suicide because of this infraction did I drive home.

So now I'm home with my yellow piece of paper awaiting the letter containing the fine that I must pay and signing up for the traffic school that I must go to.

Oh st. patrick, what a day.

1 comment:

-J.M.Williams said...

never been through a checkpoint? huh ... yea I just lost my liscense today and had to go it in downtown where it was found.... i was lucky to not get a ticket... good luck in traffic school lol