Wednesday, May 6, 2009

My weekend

Skullcrusher Mountain - Jonathon Coulton
This song has to be the most romantic song ever. It doesn't autostart, so random music doesn't freak you out while you're surfing my page. Don't tell me I'm the only one that finds that annoying.
If you listen to it while you read my post, it'll give the perfect mood.

So my weekend was pretty intense.
My boyfriend and I went to the mall and had an adventure. I've decided to split the adventure into two different parts in this post... and here it goes.

Part I: The Transvestite

So we're wandering around the mall, when suddenly Tony stops walking.

I stop too, confused, and wonder what he's probably stepped in that has caused his feet to stick to the shiny white floor.

"That..that's a guy." He says in almost a half whisper.


He points with his eyes in the direction of a lanky looking girl with ash gray hair that waterfalled down her back.

It looked like a girl. But apparently... looks are deceiving.

And that's why I decided, I must confirm that this indeed is a transvestite.

I have nothing against transvestites. In fact, I have a favorite transvestite, Eddie Izzard. Everyone needs a favorite transvestite.

Anywho, I was on the hunt. Shopping bags in hand, we were moving quickly in the direction of the girl. Her purple knee highs leading the way, we followed the strangely dressed girl. But we followed sneakily. We were being very inconspicuous, trying to not get distracted by the many stores. Sanrio was calling my name but I turned away from the bright-pink-hello-kitty filled store; I had a mission.

Then suddenly. She stopped. She stopped and turned.

We stopped and pretended to be enthralled by the shininess of the escalator and held our breaths.

She turned and looked at the display of flatware in the shop window. And that's when I saw it.

The 5 o' clock shadow.

Verify and locate transvestite in the viscinity of the valleyfair mall.


Part II: In Hiding

Hot topic isn't usually my scene, but that's the only place I can buy band tshirts that I like when I'm not at a concert.

And the clearance rack in any store is awesome.

So there I am, shuffling through the XXL's and XXXL's when I find a lonely medium.

Oh snap.

And it's a Death Cab for Cutie shirt? OH MY HEAVENS. I've hit the jack pot.

I quickly grab the hanger with the light blue shirt dangling along. I then here a voice behind me.

"Eh hem. Excuse me?" It's a girl talking to one of the guys who works there, he replies with a very bright attitude that was very much the opposite of the decor of the store.

"Do you have any death cab for cutie tshirts?"

I gasp and turn the logo to face me and, to hid it.

"No... I don't think we have any new one's in, they'd probably be on the clearance rack."

I slowly inch away from the clearance rack as the girl and hot topic guy start digging through the discontinued lime green skirts and plaid skinny jeans. The tshirt was pressed against my stomach, in the way a mother would hold her baby if someone were trying to steal it from her.


Obtaining awesome band tshirt whilst others were searching for said tshirt.


The end.

Oh, and you probably realized that the song you listened to has nothing to do with this post... but it was funny though, right?


-J.M.Williams said...

Eddy Izzard.... good choice lol
lol oh Jessica, new blog

Mr. McFartnuggets said...

Eddie Izzard is the man! ... Well kinda.

Debbie :0) said...

Loved reading about the transvestite.....reminded me of one time my daughter and I were having lunch at the food court in the mall and we were distracted by a transvestite at the next table. LOL. Love your blog....