Starbucks for free? NO WAY!

Sorry I've been gone for a while.
But I've decided to make a comeback!
YAY!
Anyways, here's my new video blog.
It's basically what happened on Sunday that I didn't have time to post until now.
WOO!

Library thoughts

So, I'm sitting in the very comfortable and cozy Fresno State Henry Madden library with the essential Starbucks signature hot chocolate and a very cheesy danish and listening to my guilty pleasures playlist and bopping to Taylor Swift.

I should be doing my homework but I was stupid this morning and forgot my books at home.

Wonderful.

So now I must kill time before my sociology class at 10.

And who coulda thunk of a better way to use my time than post on my recently dormant blog?

My music switches over to the Jonas Brothers singing about slipping into some sort of lava as I begin to apologize for not posting very often.

I could get on my knees and grovel for forgiveness tossing the rest of my danish your way as a sort of sacrifice. I could call on the all-powerful Poseidon to send a great tidal wave to make you forget that I haven't posted very many entries. (I've been watching clash of the gods on the History Channel. that show kicks ass.) I could make up an excuse about how I was trapped in a district where there were thousands of aliens called Prawns that were people just like us but were treated terribly by humans.

But seeing as I just finished my danish, Poseidon hasn't been returning my phone calls, and the Prawns have become my friends, I've run out of excuses.

I'll try to make more posts. School and work have just been kicking my butt lately and I dropped my giant ear cleaner thing to fight them back.

I'll get back on my feet. I promise. =)

Just because I'm silly.

So, a little girl decided to tell me how much she loved the Jonas Brothers while I rang up her mother's purchase.

This is the story. You could either read the text or just watch me be a dork.
Your choice. =) Haha.



Just me being silly.
Yeah, I'm too old to be a Jonas Brothers fangirl.
But I can always pretend.

So life is going ok

Hola.
So I really like making videos, I'll probably make a video of my amazzzing sixflags voyage which will be taking place in a couple of days, right now.. i've been swamped with work which is cool because I do need a way to pay for books next semester.

I was going to make another video blog but I feel kinda icky because I just got off work and I'm a little sweaty in the sort of way that would stick you to the fake leather interior of a jet black sedan.

I'm sure you needed to know that.

My day went by pretty intensely.

An elderly man decided to raise his voice to me because an item he believed to be buy one get one free turned out to be full price.

"Um sir. Where did you see the sign that says 'Buy one get one free'?" I ask in the politest way I could manage.

"It was right next to the vitamins!" He shouted, the fire's in his eyes and the words are really clear.

"I'm sorry sir, but that sign goes to a different product..." I pointed to the item which was a laxative, "Is this the item you would like?"

By this time there was a lot of customers waiting in line, I called for a second checker but I really wanted to say, "This is my message to you, the customers are linin' up, we're bringin' brighter days. They're all in line, waitin' for you. Can't you see?"

But I didn't, instead I just smiled as he began his tirade of how I should honor the sign even though it was clearly not for his product and I should be ashamed for offering him a laxative.

I apologized and smiled and rang the other items and bid him "Have an amazing day!"
I tell myself,
Don't try to fight it,
There ain't nothin' you can do,
Relax your mind, lay back and groove

So tonight, gotta leave that nine to five upon the shelf
and just enjoy yourself

Toodles. =)

Youtube and Brownies

So, I'm on youtube. Of course I've been on that site for a million years but I've never submitted a singing video.
This is a video of me being the dorky girl I am karaokeing to a camera.

Oh and at my store where I work, I'm trying desperately to sell brownies and tea, because I get a 5 cent commission on them, and if I sell at least 12 brownies and tea in one day, each day I work at my store in a week (4 days) I will have gained $2.40. I get paid biweekly so then I'll get almost an extra $5 on my paycheck.
That doesn't sound like that much money.... and it isn't ..... But I'm just trying to make a living.
So buy my brownies.
I give away free high fives for every brownie I sell.
the end.

Adventures in Retail

So, this is my day.

I was a happy go lucky drugstore cashier, drinking my Monster energy drink, so my happy go luckiness was drug induced but none of the customers needed to know that.

Anywho

This very snobby woman comes up to my register holding a very opened package of very squished cotton balls, she having a very unhappy look on her very stretched out ugly face.

"I'd like to return these."

"Was there something wrong?" I asked, caffeine coursing through my veins.

"Yes, these didn't work--"

I cut her off then, because I knew we'd have to throw them away anyway because she put her stretched out face all on them, and it's not like I could have fixed the cotton balls, and of course the main one, I DON'T CARE.

She looked at me expectantly, like I should ask her about her entire experience with the generic brand cotton balls. Were they just not soft enough? Were they just too scratchy? Were they not worth the 59 cents you paid for them?

I called for my manager and listened to the lady's story under my monster powered eaves dropping skills. She painted a picture of trying to use the ever so unuseful cotten balls to absorb water and how they would just fall to pieces at the very thought of water coming in contact with the fluffy white orbs.

I think she was trying to use the cotton balls to plug a small dam or build a giant cotton ball man, a super hero to fight acne and nail polish remover accidents.

I guess cotton balls are of the devil.

Extra helpings

So, In a previous post, I was worrying about getting laid off from work.
Well... the tide has turned, in a most tumultuous way. (I really like the world tumultuous, it's pretty magical. Anywho)

Our staff sheet went from the length of Santa's beard to the length of the creepy flesh colored beard of Spencer from The Hills.
So very sad.
Because the staff sheet has been cut, I'm getting MORE hours. More hours than I think I can handle.
I really don't want to fail my college classes. Especially chemistry. I hate chemistry so much.

I guess I'll spend Thanksgiving getting ready to dive into my chemistry book.
Aww, chemistry and turkey, a very good combination.

Cake or Death? uh, no thanks, a Job, please.

So the economy is really sucking right now.
Our sales are far less than what they were last year and the store can't afford as many people to work. So they are cutting hours. HUGELY.
Guess what happens to the little college girl who is working to pay for college stuff?
I shrivel up and die.

I'm so screwed. I've been cut to 1 day next week... some people aren't even scheduled to work. My spider senses are tingling and they're telling me that I might be in trouble.

I need money so bad, I don't know what to do. It's so hard to find another job. I don't want to go back to selling lemonade on the side of the road like back in 3rd grade. I only made about 5 cents and I don't think Verizon will enjoying being paid in lemonade.
What exactly is my job?
I'm the robot that rings up your purchases at your favorite durgstore and cleans up after everyone.
I work pretty damn hard.
But we've already lost a photo guy, a manager, 2 other service clerks... what is going to happen to little old me?

Maybe I won't shrivel up and die. Maybe I'll be cursed to spend the next 5 years living with my parents because I can't afford to move out.

Oh my god. I might as well start putting my down payment on my coffin or at least start chiseling away at my tomb stone,

"Here lies, Jessica

She was

And that's how it'll end because I won't have enough money to pay for the rest of the letters.

So, this brings me to my real topic.

HIRE ME!

(anything but prostitution/stripping sorry, I'm not that desperate yet)

I've been working as a cashier for about 6 months,
I can easily do math in my head and know how to check if money is fake or real!
Wooo! Isn't that what you look for in a cashier?

Prior to this job, i worked at a theme park as a rides operator, so I know how to work with heavy machinery! And my customer service skills are pretty awesome.
I had to tell people that "Due to the dimensions of the ride, I cannot permit you to ride safely" (Basically, They're too chubby for the ride) and that takes some skills.

And for the appeal to pity...
I'm a full time college student who needs to pay for her books for next semester. I'm a Biology Major who is planning on going to pharmacy school so... I'm a pretty determined person!

Um... I guess that's it?
So if you have a job opening in the Fresno, CA area, let me know.
I love money-- err-- I mean, I love to work.